Tuesday, 17 March 2015

Documentary Diaries #17: Typing...

16th March 2015

Decided to give the DVD to Florence. When i got off at Chandni metro station i whatsapped her asking if she was at home. I was not expecting a reply.
There are certain things which you see everyday and would never think were capable of making you happy. The header of whatsapp was one such for me. All throughout the shoot when i was sending her messages over it trying to explain how important it was that she spoke to me the header was immobile. I hardly used that app. That day when it showed 'typing...' i felt indescribable joy.
She told me that she wasn't at home and asked me where i was. She said she was near Mother House, AJC Bose road again.

I took a cab.

She was smiling less than the day before. It was a brief meeting where i only gave the DVD to her. I asked her when she was going to watch it. She said she would that night. Took a cab back to Esplanade where Sethuvamma was waiting to have Nahoum's' brownies. I was irritable and sad. I was worried what she was going to say after watching the film. (pseudo film). I was not optimistic. Felt she would tell me that she was not interested in being a part of it.

Back in the institute i messaged D Jeet asking him when his shoot would be over and when he could shoot for me. He said he would call me when he was back which would be around 3 a.m. I started panicking. I asked if he was going to tell me that he couldn't work with me because i was hyper. He said it wasn't that. Till the time he said that i was restless and edgy.

After taking my lithium i decided to wash clothes. So at 1 a.m i went to D7 where Sethuvamma was and took the detergent packet i had lent her. Washing clothes helped me. By the time i was done D Jeet and the rest of the crew was back in the hostel. Prakar, our senior asked if i could lend them some sugar. When D Jeet came to my room to take it he said that he was very worked up in his mind and was unable to do so many things at once. He was assisting in a lot of projects, doing his lighting practice at the institute and there was hardly any time to shoot for me. I was sad, but said okay. There was nothing i could do. If i forced him to shoot i felt it would affect the quality of work. I didn't want that. Let the artist be, i thought.

At 4 in the morning we played badminton. Prakar made us coffee and we sat in his room for a while. After D Jeet went back to his temporary room in the hostel (he was a day scholar) i tried sleeping. Nada. My mind was still restless. I asked D Jeet if he had slept. When he said he hadn't i went down and asked him to go out with me for tea. He refused. So i sat there and kept talking to him till he gave up and said yes.

Thus after tea and some more of our discussion of our own misery i went back to my room and hit the bed. It was 7 a.m. Sethuvamma woke me up after four hours and i started thinking of Florence as soon as i was aware of my own brain.

17th March 2015

Woke up at 11 a.m. Scanned the newspaper and saw that there was yet another funeral. I was sure that D Jeet wouldn't be able to shoot so dumped the weight of the newspaper in the corner of the room.
Whatsapped Florence thus

'Ma'am can we see you on 30th march? My camera person has gone to US for some work and will be back only then.That's why.'
She gave her bland 'K' as reply.
I wrote thus
'I will ping you once on 29th and confirm. Thanks a lot. :)'
She said
'K wlcm'

The 'bye' that she wrote sent a chill down my spine. I didn't want her to say bye to me ever during shoot. I was worried sick about her changing her mind once again.

On 17th March Florence's whatsapp status again went back to 'my ego is more than me.'
I loved that woman.

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